Retreat With AQUA

So last weekend I went on a retreat with organization AQUA...A support group for Gay, bi, trans, Asian and Pacific Islanders...Now I've never been on a retreat before so I didn't know what to expect. It was a retreat for a weekend to Santa Cruz...they had a cook that made some of the best filipino food...and just food in general ever. The house we stayed in was right on the beach...and there was about 18 of us total...I had the time of my LIFE, and definitely met some of the best people that I've ever come across.

This is a picture of my "Family" during the retreat..."ANTB...America's Next Top and/or Bottoms"

This is all of us who came to the retreat...The actual backyard of the house as well. Right above the grass you can see the water.

My Birthday Week....FINALLY over.

I am so over my birthday.
It has definitely been a lot of fun and such an adventure especially since I didn't even really plan anything big like I usually do. I ended up just having a last minute brunch, a few last minute outings, and a random bonfire. A big bunch of last minute randomness can wear you out, but I had a lot of fun.

So I'm finally open to dating again without judging men and there alter motives.... and there is one person in particular that I'm really intrested in dating. We've "hung out" a few times at random but haven't really date dated yet, BUT we are TRYING to make plans...unfortunately we both have busy schedules this week and next week (I'll be going on a retreat which I'll tell you more about later).

Other than that living by the beach has been amazing...work has turned into "Stanley's next top Associate," which I'll love to get into later as well....

But with all that being said... The age of 23 has started off really interesting at a rapid pace. I've heard it's a good age...22 was a little fast a lot of fun, but had a little bit of too much going on at one time...we'll see how this goes.

Brotherly

Last night I got a random call from my brother and I hardley ever hear from him so I invited him over to meet my roomies. It was really good to see him especially to clear up all the rumors I've been hearing. Turns out he is having a baby (if it turns out to be his) sometime in July. He's not getting married but he does have another court date coming up.
It's always really hard for me to see him then leave him or see him leave just because I feel like I can see in his face that he does want better for himself but I feel like he feels stuck.
The thing is he knows that he has family that's willing to help him but I feel like his pride is getting in the way from him reaching out for it. I love the kid to death and don't know how we both have taken such different paths in life. I understand we are completely different people but in the end all we want is the same thing...to be happy. Maybe our meaning of happy is different?
I just wish I didn't have to see him struggle like this...I once upon a time helped and played a part in raising the little shit and he'll always be my brother. I want the best for him I just have to realize that there's only so much I could do and the rest is up to him.

~Blogged from my cell Domino^Antoine

Location:Taraval St,San Francisco,United States

Forcely Found

I no longer know why I'm working so much and still don't know why I haven't quit one of my jobs or even if I want to. I've continuously came up with excuse for both keepin and quitting a job or two of mine. I am so over havin these self battles and I'm starting to feel like Im loosing knowledge of who I am and what I want or maybe my motives or changing... Or am I starting to want to be lazy or careless? Am I money hungry prideful and too in love with myself or am I kind and giving and hard working and am not caring enough about myself. A year ago I told myself I was going to become a workaholic and I've more than reached success with that goal. I'm able to do it all I'm able to work everyday and nigh if needed too and still hang out with friend ls and go out and occasionally date on top of school. Pretty bad ass for a 22 year old but I don't know how long I can continuously force myself to challenge myself. I feel like I keep challenging myself to see if I can stand at the end of the day...I've forced myself so much that sometimes there is no endto my day. What am I missing.. What else do I want.. I'm starting to get angry at my current state and I'm too old and have been through too much and know myself too well to be as lost as I am right now. And I know what my friends and what some people think I should do...I just am not convinced that it's the right thing to do. I feel like a prisoner to myself.


~Blogged from my cell Domino^Antoine

Location:Castro St,San Francisco,United States

After A Sunday Off

I know it's been a minute since I last posted anything but let me tell you the month of February has been crazy and ridiculously busy. I'm acctually kind of surprised the month is over though.
This passed weekend I went to the Chinese New year parade... I haven't been to a Chinese New Year parade in ages so it reminded of me of when I was a kid when I went.

I've definitely evolved a bit in February. I look a little different with my short spikey sharp edged relaxed hair now haha although because I work so much you'll probably see me in my usual an unupdated work clothing...hopefully that'll change by the end of this week but we'll see it's my week for bills...ugh! I think instead of waiting to save up for a laptop I might just try to get a loan but I need to hurry since I need a new laptop by the begining of next semester...let's cross our fingers.

~Blogged from my cell Domino^Antoine

Location:15th Ave,San Francisco,United States

All Settled In

Finally moved into my new place and I'm getting all settled in. I am in love with the place...I now live 2 blocks from the beach! HOW EXCITING! I also live super lose to 2 of my friends. I decided since I'm super close to the beach I'm going to jog on a regular basis and play baywatch at the beach more often!

I've got everything I need/want right now. A great place, great friends, and good jobs that pay me well and that I'm proud of having. I'm thinking of taking the semester off to get in the grove of things, and save up some money. But I'm just thinking about it, it's not for sure yet.

So I somehow ended up with this three day weekend and I've been having a great time off, however, I know it's almost over, which is the bad part about days off...you enjoy it too much just to go back to work non-stop...urg hahaha. Well, It's a new year, I have a new mind set, and I'm in a new place.

Moving...and Possibly going to have a Sister In Law?

So I'm moving hopefully by Monday next week into my new place. It'll be two blocks from the beach...and a few of my friends will be living walking distance so I'm really excited about that.

Quick question...My brother who is 3 years younger than me and who I deeply care for (whether I talk to him every day or just once a damn year doesn't calculate how much I love my brother thank you very much) I just found out is getting married? WHAT THE HELL??? I can't get ahold of him and no one in my family has his number. I don't know what to do but I really feel the need to get ahold of him to talk some sense into him.

Those who know my brother know he's a hot mess sometimes...I can't believe this...he's made a lot of mistakes in his life this is the very last thing he needs! The stupid government shouldn't have taken my mother away, if they didn't she could've knocked some god damn sense into his ass and I could almost guarantee this wouldn't have happened.