So this week has been a bitch to get through haha. Bad things usually come in three's so I'm waiting on my third one...but at the same time trying to hang in by a thread to stay positive. I haven't been able to go a full day without crying but I'm pretty sure I'm doing much better now. It's really hard because I'm not the type who cries unless it's a goodbye or a break-up, and these things don't happen very often so when I do cry it's usually a pretty big deal to me.
I've noticed that everything this weeks affects on me and how I'm interacting with people and who has sympathy, and who says just get over it, and every minor detail. Usually things that would annoy me I'm able to let brush past me like either I didn't notice it, or I can laugh about it just as well and move on.
It sure is one son of a bitch that we can't control what happens in our life, and whether this new me is going to be long term or short term I feel like I've completely lost control of it. I feel like I'm just watching every single step I take now, almost like I'm scared to let anything get to me to make me feel worse then I already do. I've been trying to stay away from bad moods/feelings pretty much.
I just want to say to everyone who's been so supportive thank you so much, but I have to do this on my own. If I can't get through the things that have happened so far this week I'll never get through anything and I'll always be weak in my own eyes. And to those that don't have sympathy, just keep your mouth shut for a while...thanks.
I wont be able to see my mom anytime soon I know, but I'm hoping she'll call me as soon as she get's back to the Philippines, and Marcus and I are over which is for the better considering the feelings weren't mutual for eachother, which is not the kind of relationship I want to be in, I'm going to want someone who really wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them, it can't be a one-sided relationship, no matter how good he is to me. It still hurts but these are the facts.
Well, back to my life
P.S.
Happy Suppose to be Anniversary.
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