Free From Him At Last

Not going too much into detail...but a few weeks ago me and Marcus were kind of sort of but not really re-connecting, I didn't want to share because nothing was definite and I didn't want it to be too good to be true...and of course it was. I've learned a lot more about him, he's got a few issues he needs to deal with himself before I think he's ready to be in a relationship. After...not to sound cliche' or dramatic...getting my heart crushed by him...I'm finally free from it all and I don't fantasize anymore whether we would've been perfect together or not. It's simply done. I'd like to remain friends with him but I guess we'll see.

Although now I'm just not sure I really want to date. I'm not even really sure if I want love after that. What I think I need is just a friend until I'm out of this blank space. I may not have those feelings for Marcus anymore, but I feel kind of blank...maybe scared of what else I'd let happen to me if I fall for someone else. I'm sure love will come eventually but I'm not waiting or expecting it to happen anytime soon...I'm just taking one day at a time...and that's all I can do!

Therapy Shopping

Therapy shopping just makes you feel so good...especially when you have a little bit of money to do so. After this I really think you should put a little money aside for some "me" time.

I've had a lot on my mind in the past couple weeks. Dealing with finals, final projects, friends, finding a place, love, and of course work. Having every second of every minute of my days planned have been really exciting but with all that at once, it's really beaten me up...and now I just have all this crap on my mind.

I'd go in detail with every subject that I've gone through within the past week but i'd just rather not at the moment. But after a little "therapy" I feel like I should just concentrate on myself and what I want...

...my only problem is I don't think that I can have what I really want...

URG!!!

Minutes Before My First Final...

I have a final tonight, tomorrow and the day after that, so you can just guess how excited I am about each day. Thursday I sign the papers too my new place!! I'm really excited the place is huge!

BUT THESE FINALS...I'm hoping everything turns out okay. Other than that, and I know you guys are going to hate this, but certain parts of my life I was thinking of keeping a little more private. I'm not so sure yet because you guys are my outlet and I love letting you guys know 100 percent what's going on in my life!

I hate not knowing what's going on in my own life. I'm kinda going through a situation where I don't know what's really going on...urg...I can't explain without explaining...gimme some time...

I don't know it's just a thought, I'd provide examples but I gotta get ready for this final...wish me luck

I Can Not Believe We're Already In December 2009

First I just want to ask, where in the hell did November go? Everything is going so fast. I hear myself saying time and time again..."I can't wait until next week" and next thing I know it's next week and I'm wishing the same thing again. Soon I'll be wishing away months if I keep this up haha. I've been so busy with work and school (finals are next week :/ ) I can't beleive this semesters over. I can't believe this years pretty much over.
I can't even begin to imagine what next year is going to be like, but it's right around the corner so I guess we'll find out real soon. i know there's going to be a lot of changes...you know how you just feel like somethings in the middle of a change...especially with the new job, finding a nice place, and finishing up school.
It's still sometimes hard to believe I've made it this far. Life's always been such a big struggle...when I get a break from it all, it better be amazing...and well worth it. (Although I'm sure it will be)