I couldn't find the right actual scene but in scene of the Moulin Rouge where Satine sings this song, Nicole Kidman's character realizes that she's about to die, and all that she's dreamed of, all that she's fantasized about, is over. It's not going to come true, and she let her heart lead the way instead of choosing what was logical under her circumstances.
I feel the exact same way right now. Not like I'm about to die, but like everything that I've been fantasizing about, everything I thought this relationship was going to turn into, has just been turned into dust. It hurts so bad, I'm reminded that I actually do have a heart, and that I'm not as strong as I'd like to be. I feel like a very elegant dinner set, and the expensive china was knocked over and shattered on the ground, left messy and dangerous to be around.
Why we broke up I haven't let sink in yet. He says that we weren't meant to be although he "loves me." He says that he wasn't ready. It hurts so bad. Right before the relationship started I asked him if he was ready for something serious do to his previous relationship, and he said he was so ready. I asked him to promise and he said he swore.
I'm not angry, I'm just really hurt. I feel defeated, empty, broken, out of words, and would just like it all to be a blur that I could barely remember. Like a dream you had last night after a long day today. I know in the end I will be okay, and life will go on, but I wish...I really do just wish, I hadn't put so much hope in what could have been and what might have been. I had never been so convinced of such a possible beautiful future with such a great guy by my side.
Oh honey. I'm sorry! I know exactly how you feel. I hope you feel better soon. I also hope that you know that you are an amazing person and someone will come along and see just how amazing you are and they'll never leave....
ReplyDeleteSometimes the road to happiness is marred by strife and obstacles that seem to take us further from where we need to be. Once we have a better hold of our lives and are further along our paths, we are able to become more objective and get a better sense of what has transpired. All those seemingly "bad" moments were there for a reason.
ReplyDeleteI sincerely believe that "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." A trite saying, but it doesn't make it any less true. You have a great future ahead of you because you are a great and lovable person, single or not. =)
I am not trying to be rude, but more just to the point... As much as you're hurting, and I know how you feel....your life is not over! It is far from over. You are a smart, funny, and highly motivated person. You will have many more amazing times with someone special (like me!...u know i had to throw that in there...lol) and have the rest of your life to find the perfect someone. Your dreams are never over, as long as you don't want them to be. And there is nothing wrong with hurting, or just letting go of everything and crying your eyes out for a few days, scream into a pillow and tear up a pillow or whatever will help you fell better, but dont ever give up on yourself or your apirations in life.The only true motivation in a persons life is yourself. Unfortunatley reality is things have to get worse before they can get better, you have a lot of people who love you and will always be there if you need a shoulder to cry on or laugh your ass off with or just relax, especially the 2 that live with you. And as always there is no boy in the world that is important enough for you to lose motivation. And even though your mom is far away, and you haven't seen her in a long time she is still always going to be there as much as she can obvioulsy love you for being you, there is nothing in the world like a mothers love, no matter how distant it is still one of the greatest wonders of the world....i love ya!
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