Monday, July 27, 2009

Considered Strong


Everyone always thinks that I'm this really strong person who's been able to get through so much.

I will admit that I've had a lot of things that I've had to deal with and work through, but at the same time I've really had no other choice in the decisions I've made.
For example working two jobs. If you were put in a position where you were supporting yourself for college, and your rent and all your bills and stuff, what else would you do? Would you not work both jobs and let yourself get evicted, or your water shut off, or your phone cut off, or would you simply go to work every single day.

Another example, my family and me being gay. I've been denied as a family member by some but what am I suppose to do? Stay in the closet to keep them happy or continue living my life the way I want to? I know a few men who stayed in the closet, and met one actually last night who stayed in the closet until he was 31 just too keep his mother happy. Would you continue living a lie, or would you do what was right and move on with your life?

I don't know if I'm explaining myself right, but I really do LOVE hearing people say, "Antoine you are such a strong person," "I don't know who could go through what you have and still be standing," "I look up to you," It gives me this feeling that I've kicked ass at some of life's toughest battles. But at the same time...I question myself, Did I get through it because of luck, because there really was no letting yourself loose? I don't want to sell myself short and say I didn't get through hard times because I have, but have I because there was really no way too loose?

I can't explain my thoughts on this one, I'm actually doing a really bad job at it, but okay....
put yourself in this scenario...
your 18, both of your parents are gone, and you've barely got a roof over your head....what would you do? Now ask yourself what's the opposite action of your answer, and answer me if that is a real possibility of anyone actually doing it. I'm trying my best here I know it's a little sloppy but hey.

Well...I've gotta find me another job here...if you hear anything open, let me know ;)

New song I've been obsessed with....



and my favorite song from the New Black Eyed-Peas album.... (will blog about it tomorrow)

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